We were prepared for a different dining-out culture when we got here. Even if you have never been to Europe (like me) you probably know that they tend to eat dinner later and a meal out can take a few hours. Switzerland isn’t anywhere near as extreme as I understand Spain to be, but the differences are still noticeable for somebody coming from the US.
If you are eating dinner before 8 you are part of the early crowd. They are generally happy to seat you if you show up at 7 (not necessarily true in France), but reservations seem pretty important in many places and if you don’t have one you will see the hesitation. The hesitation is there even when the restaurant is completely empty. I assume this is because once you have that table they figure you might just be there until morning. But the reason the meal takes so long isn’t for the reasons we expected at all. This is probably where things start to diverge a bit amongst countries, but here it isn’t the actual ordering, serving, and number of courses that are longer. It’s just getting the check!
In fact, they are generally very quick to get your drink and food orders and they bring them out pretty dang fast. Then… they disappear. As soon as the food arrives, the roles reverse and you have to become the one to initiate everything. It is rare a server will pop by to see if you need anything so you have to flag them down for everything. Sometimes this is pretty difficult. At a minimum, I require eye contact with them because I’m not at a cultural comfort level yet where I can just yell out into an empty room that I want another drink. So, I just lock eyes on them as they enter the vicinity and wait for them to glance over. This takes a lot of dedication and you can’t feel rejected if you don’t get that eye contact. It’s just the way it is. I don’t exactly know what they think you are doing just sitting there, but most people seem pretty happy just breaking out the cigarettes and chatting in front of empty glasses.
And it isn’t so much an issue of bad service. I would say the actual friendliness of servers is better than in Seattle and when you do finally catch their eye they are there with a smile and never make you feel like you are bothering them. They simply just leave you alone because that is what the culture is and they think you want it that way.
A co-worker of Chizzy just got back from a trip to the Big Apple and she definitely commented on how it feels like you are being rushed out of restaurants there. Being brought the check before asking for it is unheard of here. In the US I think it is seen as a courtesy.
This is exactly how it was when I was in France. Brian and I sat FOREVER at this pizza place waiting for the check. Finally, feeling a little rude for being so assertive, we flagged her down and asked for the check. She was totally cool and nice and brought it to us. By our last night there, we opted for street vender pizza to avoid the lengthy dinners because they were wearing us out!
J, July 26, 2005 11:54 PM:Yeah, they never bring you a check unless you ask, like they'd be rude in doing so or something. This is why you must learn to do the whazzup head nod with arm raised and do the universal "check" hand symbol. You can flag down people from across the restaurant that way and it works everywhere.
Care Maree, July 26, 2005 11:54 PM:Yep, J & I had the same experience in Paris. Meals are to be enjoyed. People routinely take 2 hour lunches without guilt. Maybe we as Americans could learn something from this?
J, July 26, 2005 11:56 PM:JINX! 1-2-3-4 you owe me a Coke!
Bryan, July 27, 2005 10:31 AM:Did you guys notice too that they are much more offended if you don't finish your food? "You didn't like it"?? Maybe it is releated. Maybe you are supposed to eat your meal over the course of two hours. We haven't really found the portions here to be smaller like we were told we would. And they don't do leftover bags.