I happened to catch Donald Trump on Larry King Live the other morning. After listening to him talk for a while I wondered how living a day as The Donald might be. So I gave it a try and here is what happened:
I woke laying on the most luxurious of pillows covered by the finest quality bedding known to man. I brewed the world’s greatest coffee while I showered under water that was the scientifically approved temperature for maximum comfort and cleanliness. I adorned myself with clothes that were made to the specifications of the most important world leaders by the most well-known fashion designers on the planet. I walked outside into the greatest day that has ever existed and I patronized the finest supermarket in the city run by the most outstanding people you will ever meet. The goods I selected were grown, manufactured, or crafted under the highest standards of production the world has ever documented and I paid for them with a smile that passes as cash in most places because of its sheer brilliance. As I continued my stroll, I refreshed myself with my branded water that has been mistaken several times as the heavenly water that once flowed from the springs in the Garden of Eden. I say mistakenly, because clearly my water is better than that sludge. I passed a billboard that had not yet been painted on and I wrote my fine name in bold spray paint for all to see and applaud. It was a great location for a billboard. Perhaps the greatest location for a billboard the world has ever known.
At this point I realized I had just shoplifted an onion, a frying pan and a Twix from the store and vandalized private property while wearing my only suit. I gave up on my day as The Donald after that. I still can't figure out if Larry King or Donald Trump is more responsible for my actions. Either way... thanks for nothing.
This was pretty funny and I think you should role play some more. Bill Gates, George Bush, etc.