Eurovision Song Contest

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I don’t keep a personal journal, but I wanted to remember this very odd thing I saw the other night. I’ll probably find some way to eventually preserve these posts for my future amusement and maybe reading back on this in a few years will give me a laugh.

The yearly event is called the Eurovision Song Contest and it is one of the most surreal things I have ever seen. Chizzy watched it last year and thought it was great TV so I had to watch some of it this weekend to see what the buzz was all about. I really won’t be able to do the spectacle justice with words so try to catch it if you ever have the chance. It is essentially a song contest for all the countries in Europe. Chizzy likes to remind me that ABBA were once the winners of this prestigious award as if that makes it beyond criticism, but criticize I must. The production itself is top notch. They set up an amazing stage with every light effect and pyrotechnic trick you can imagine. It is viewed by millions and millions of people and it is obviously a huge deal to be crowned the winner.

I have never much thought about why American music seems to prevail here in Europe, but I’m starting to get a better understanding of why after watching that show. The variety of music represented in the contest was fairly diverse, but it isn’t like they are playing traditional music from their country. They are playing questionable pop and rock. The winners this year were from Finland and they were a ‘death metal’ band that dresses up like monsters. The song was called “Hard Rock Hallelujah”. GWAR they are not. Don’t think I need to say anymore about them.

Russia finished second with a ballad from a pretty-boy and is really upset about the voting scandal. They feel they are being picked on by the other European countries.

The highlight of insanity though, came when Lithuania took to the stage with this song:

We are the winners
We are, we are!
We are the winners
We are, we are!

So, you gotta vote,
Vote, vote for the winners
Vote, vote, vote for the winners

It was sung by a bunch of dudes wearing suits in a style that pretty much matches what the lyrics make you think. It was just a kind of playground-style taunt with one dude shouting “We are the winners” and the rest of the group backing him up with “We are, we are!” Watching it made me feel really sad for the people of Lithuania who possibly didn’t realize these guys were really embarrassing their fine country. But when they ended up finishing highly (6th) in the rankings I felt like the only sane person on the entire planet. I was Mugatu struggling to understand Blue Steel and Le Tigra.

Another fun moment was, once again, the refusal of France to participate in an international setting using the international language. It’s fantastic if you sing your song in your own language, but when the entire show is being conducted in English by everybody else, you look like a whiny little baby when you refuse to speak it to the hosts who are talking to you in English (which is not their first language either). You look doubly childish when you finish almost dead last. You know you know it.

Speaking of English, we watched on some British station and they were carrying the show live, but they had a commentator who just talked over the top of it. And it wasn’t like a play-by-play guy who is filling you in with stats and information. It was like a color-commentator who chimed in with the most ridiculous things. The hosts would be talking to somebody and the guy would just interject, “can we get on with the show?” He was really bitter about the voting process when geography seems to play a more important role than the actual songs. He would say things like, “Oh big surprise! Sweden gives Finland the top score. What a shocker.” It really added to the whole amazing experience.