I happened to catch Donald Trump on Larry King Live the other morning. After listening to him talk for a while I wondered how living a day as The Donald might be. So I gave it a try and here is what happened:
I woke laying on the most luxurious of pillows covered by the finest quality bedding known to man. I brewed the worldís greatest coffee while I showered under water that was the scientifically approved temperature for maximum comfort and cleanliness. I adorned myself with clothes that were made to the specifications of the most important world leaders by the most well-known fashion designers on the planet. I walked outside into the greatest day that has ever existed and I patronized the finest supermarket in the city run by the most outstanding people you will ever meet. The goods I selected were grown, manufactured, or crafted under the highest standards of production the world has ever documented and I paid for them with a smile that passes as cash in most places because of its sheer brilliance. As I continued my stroll, I refreshed myself with my branded water that has been mistaken several times as the heavenly water that once flowed from the springs in the Garden of Eden. I say mistakenly, because clearly my water is better than that sludge. I passed a billboard that had not yet been painted on and I wrote my fine name in bold spray paint for all to see and applaud. It was a great location for a billboard. Perhaps the greatest location for a billboard the world has ever known.
At this point I realized I had just shoplifted an onion, a frying pan and a Twix from the store and vandalized private property while wearing my only suit. I gave up on my day as The Donald after that. I still can't figure out if Larry King or Donald Trump is more responsible for my actions. Either way... thanks for nothing.
We both arrived back in Zurich on Wednesday after our latest trip to the Great Northwest. We both were there primarily for the big wedding but I made a bit longer of a trip out of it because my job allows it. Chizzy basically just had a long weekend. Sorry to anybody reading this who didnít know we were there and might have wanted to meet up with us. It was a quick trip.
I just woke up from a 3 hour nap in the middle of the day. I am not even trying to fight the jet lag and that is bad news. Iím in that strange middle of the day groggy nap mood right now so the post might reflect that.
The rundown. I spent the first couple of days with the folks, which means I had a cold. My mom insists every time she has seen me since college I have been ill. We went out to Aberdeen to see Grandma for a day. She made a fantastic meal as usual. My cousin also took me out for a bit of Hoquiam nightlife. It was a good time.
We did an Auburn garage run the night Chizzy came into town and that was interesting. The cops decided not to show up this time around. They missed a good one.
The remainder of the time was spent in Seattle and a huge thanks goes to the Berliners who let us take over their bedroom again this trip.
Had the bachelor party. We are getting old. I donít even think The Warrior fell down once. I donít remember Piro screaming in anybodyís face either. Odd.
Yes, that is The Nightmare second from the right. It was quite a reunion with 7 of us being high school pals.
Nice work on the marriage, you two. Now you have to bring it, dude. I only have 41 photos from our entire trip back and half of them are unusable shots from inside the candlelit church during the actual ceremony. I don't even have one of the wife. Terrible. It was a pretty sweet wedding with only one cell phone incident. The reception was sweet and the photo booth was a huge hit. Good idea.
I add this mainly to show off my tux wearing skills but also to introduce my agent. Meet Findlay.
The food tour was highly anticipated and did not disappoint. Had pho four times. Had a huge slab of beef. Had a good burger. Had dim sum. Had delicious pizza a few times (including a couple of my favorite Gordon Jumps). Had Mexican at least three times. Had a warm pastrami sandwich with the meat piled high (unheard of here). Had a couple corn dogs. Had pork roast (at Grandmas). Had a wedding pasta bar. Went to Dennyís for a Super Bird. Went to IHOP for biscuits and gravy. Good job, America.
We also scored some nice gear on the trip back. Got a new laptop from Costco to replace my dead old one. Returned with about 12 new DVDs. But the real prize was the new video iPod that the folks got Chizzy and me as a joint B-Day present. The podcasts are already being downloaded and a stereo mount will be purchased very soon.
It was great to see everybody. The tentative plan is to come back for the 4th of July, but you never know. There are other events that are high on the list as well. I still hope nothing has changed when we get back. You stay classy, Seattle.